How to Get Rid of Mom Guilt and Perfectionism!
Apr 22, 2024
Motherhood is a journey filled with joy, love, and a never-ending to-do list! Can I get an amen?! From raising little ones to managing household schedules, perhaps a career outside the home, mothers wear many hats throughout the day. However, in the middle of all the busyness and chaos of daily life, there's a not-so-welcome feeling that sneaks in for many of us: that we're not doing a good enough job! Gulp....you know this feeling, also known as mom guilt!
What exactly is mom guilt?
It's that nagging feeling that creeps in when we feel like we're not living up to a set of standards of being a "perfect" mom. This guilt often comes from the unrealistic expectations set by society, the media, our communities, and even ourselves. Whether it's comparing our parenting style to others, feeling guilty for not being home enough, or even for taking time for self-care, mom guilt can seep into so much of what we do. From Instagram-perfect images of homes to Pinterest-worthy birthday parties, the pressure to excel in every aspect of motherhood can be overwhelming. These feelings create a never-ending cycle of doubt and guilt that can be hard to break.
And can we talk about society's unrealistic beauty standards for women for a sec? Today we're not only holding ourselves up in comparison to our immediate community and friends, but now we have the whole world to compare ourselves to thanks to the internet! Our changing bodies and appearance that happen with motherhood and aging can also give us anxiety and a feeling of not being good enough.This can lead to an obsession with cosmetic procedures in hopes of turning back the clock and keeping us as young as possible. But here's the deal, while it might seem like a quick fix, chasing cosmetic procedures in pursuit of youth won't bring about true confidence if we're not already secure and happy on the inside.
So here's the thing, while we can't necessarily eliminate mom guilt completely, there are steps we can take to manage it and make it take up less space in our lives.
Step 1: Try taking a proactive approach to your life.
Small steps like establishing daily routines and focusing on the positive can help us feel more in control and happier in our minds. It's about changing our perspective on success—realizing that being a mom isn't about being flawless; it's about doing our best and growing from challenges. Life is messy, and that's ok!
Step 2: Create an Echo Chamber of Positivity
Our social circles, both online and offline, play a big role in how we feel about ourselves. While social media can be a source of connection and support, it can also expose us to unrealistic standards and comparisons. That's why it's important to curate our online spaces carefully. Start by following accounts that uplift and inspire you, and don't be afraid to unfollow anything that triggers negative emotions. Creating a digital sanctuary—a space where you feel supported and validated—is key to protecting your mental well-being! Do the same with your in-person friendships and community. Do your friends allow you to be vulnerable and imperfect? Or are you constantly having to one up each other? If the latter, it might be time to close that friendship to make room for healthier ones.
Step 3: Your mindset matters, so much!
Mindset is everything! Whether it's visualizing success or feeling confident in our skin, our thoughts shape our reality. True self-worth comes from within, not from external validations. Start small—practice gratitude by jotting down three things you're thankful for each day. Consider journaling or using apps such as the Superhuman app that promote positive affirmations and mindfulness. Remember, it's a journey, so be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way!
Step 4: Establish a Morning and Evening Routine
Having a morning and evening routine is so important if you're struggling with mom guilt. In the morning, take a few minutes just for you. Sip on your coffee or tea, do some deep breathing, or write in a journal. Starting your day calmly sets a positive tone. Having trouble waking up in the morning, check out this alarm clock that helps this night owl actually get up in the morning Wake Up Light Sunrise Alarm Clock. At night, wind down with a warm bath or some simple skincare. It's your time to relax and recharge after a busy day. Plus, it helps signal to your body that it's time to rest. These routines aren't just for you—they benefit your whole family too! By showing your kids the importance of self-care, you're teaching them valuable lessons for life. Atomic Habits- James Clear is a great book to check out if you're curious on how to develop healthy habits in your life.
In a world that often expects perfection from moms, it's easy to experience mom guilt. But remember, taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it's necessary. When mom guilt hits, know it's okay to feel it, but don't let it control you. Take small steps to manage it, surround yourself with understanding people, and embrace the journey, imperfections and all. Happiness isn't about being perfect—it's about finding joy in everyday moments.
Don't miss out on this week's podcast episode with Vanna Padilla as we discuss all things mom guilt, and Vanna shares her expert tips for shedding that guilt and embracing imperfection!
A new podcast episode drops every Monday!
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Products Mentioned in the episode:
Wake Up Light Sunrise Alarm Clock
Find Vanna here:
